My Real Name Is
by Lucillia
Summary: Nobody in SG-1 is who they seem to be, or are they?...Just kidding. Colonel O'Neill came up with a game after reading some Wormhole X-Treme! fan fiction, and the rest of SG-1 decided to play along.
1. Harry Potter

Everyone sat around the table waiting for Daniel to finally come clean. He'd been hiding something for a while, and apparently now was the time for him to confess.

"I guess that first I'll have to apologize for lying to you for such a long time." Daniel started as he nervously rubbed his glasses on his shirt. "If certain events hadn't occurred and forced my hand, I probably would have never told you, as I have been reasonably content with my life as Daniel Jackson."

"My story starts with the leader of a terrorist faction that was active in the fifties." Daniel said. "This group of terrorists was unlike most others of the era as they belonged to a race who could manipulate a form of energy that is called for lack of a better word, Magic. Those who wielded that power are called Witches and Wizards. The leader was considered to be the most powerful of his kind, and had gathered a large number of Witches and Wizards to his cause."

"My parents, my real parents not the parents of the real Daniel Jackson who died in his early teens and whose identity I took, were involved in the civil war in that community of magic users which the terrorist group had started in order to purge the community of those they considered impure, those who had non-magical ancestors." Daniel continued.

"After my parents' death at the hands of the leader of the group on the Halloween of 1961 when I was one year old, the civil war went into a fifteen year hiatus before starting up again shortly before I turned sixteen. During the hiatus, I was hailed as the boy who had defeated the leader of the terrorist group. During the war which I was forced to fight because of my public status and the fact that I'd faced the leader of the terrorist group before, I lost everyone who was dear to me. Because of this, I decided to leave the magical community and start a new life elsewhere, at which point I came across Daniel Jackson whom nobody had yet learned had died." Daniel continued.

"I wasn't born with the name Daniel Jackson, which belonged to a boy who could be considered to be the last casualty of that civil war. My real name is Harry Potter." Daniel finished.

Everyone around the table clapped when Daniel finished giving his confession, and Daniel bowed.

"Good one." Colonel Jack O'Neill said as he collected money from several people around the table. "Love the back story."

"How the heck did you figure out that Daniel was Harry Potter?" Major Samantha Carter asked as she handed over a wad of cash. "I mean it wasn't obvious at all. He never did any "magic" in front of us or anything like that."

"Easy. Besides the one time I saw the wand poking out of his sleeve," O'Neill who had come up with the game the group was playing after reading some Wormhole X-Treme! fan fiction on a lark said "The guy who's supposed to be Jackson in Wormhole X-Treme! is almost always Harry Potter in the crossovers. By the way Jackson, where'd you get that wand?"

"You'd be amazed at what you can find on the internet. I bought it from a Harry Potter fansite." Daniel replied as he displayed said wand to Teal'c.

"This game was more fun than I thought it would be". Carter said.

"I do believe it is my turn next." Teal'c said. "Please allow me sufficient time to study Earth's popular culture in order to prepare."

"I'll give you a week." O'Neill said "For the next week after that, you act the way you think the person you picked would act if they were you, and in two weeks, it's "Confession" time."

"As much as I would like to see who Teal'c would choose to be, I don't want this interfering with your missions." General Hammond said as the group began to get up and go their own ways.

"Don't worry, it won't." Jackson replied. "Me pretending to be Harry Potter pretending to be me didn't do any further harm to our last mission."

&!&!&!&

Author's note: Any suggestions for Teal'c?


	2. Mace Windu

"You did not see me eat the last of the doughnuts." Teal'c said as he waved his hand in front of Daniel Jackson's face. It was the weekly meeting, and it was his turn to confess to being someone he was not as part of O'Neill's pretend game which was supposed to relieve stress in some manner.

He had chosen a character he had admired and seen some similarities to himself in. There was an odd irony in the fact that an order which was dedicated to peace trained in the ways of war.

Over the last week, he had attempted to act in the manner he had believed a Jedi Master would were he in his position. He had found himself attempting to find ways other than combat to solve the situation before resorting to "Aggressive Negotiations". It hadn't worked all that well, but it had been an interesting exercise.

"Uh, yeah I did." Jackson said as he poured himself a cup of coffee, deciding to ignore Teal'c's "Jedi Mind-trick".

It had been three weeks since Jack had come up with the game that the team had been playing, and two since it had been Teal'c's turn. Today was time for Teal'c's "Confession" which should prove to be interesting considering the fact that he was acting like Obi-Wan Kenobi. The group was now seated around the table waiting eagerly.

"There are several things that I neglected to mention when I joined SG-1." Teal'c said when it was time for him to speak.

"Like what?" O'Neill asked.

"Such as the fact that I am not originally from this galaxy." Teal'c replied. "Before I joined the forces of Apophis, I lived on a planet called Coruscant where I was a member of an order that has at various times been warriors, healers, and negotiators. The members of this order were called Jedi, and I was a member of their leading council."

"Before the accident that led to me being reborn in this galaxy, my name was Mace Windu." Teal'c finished.

"Who?" Jackson asked.

"You haven't seen the prequels?" Carter asked incredulously. "Teal'c and I saw Attack of the Clones when it came out in theaters last week."

"Prequels? Oh, right, those. I decided not to see them after I heard all of the people complaining about Episode One three years ago. Something about some annoying CGI alien. People are already complaining about this one as well." Jackson replied.

"Well, that one was ruined." O'Neill grumbled.

"Indeed." Teal'c said.

"It's the General's turn next." Carter piped up.


	3. Lex Luthor

"No sir, I really wasn't planning on nuking Hackensack. Yes sir, I understand how it could've seemed that way sir. If you study your intelligence report more closely sir, I think you'll recognize the other target. My subordinates and I have been playing a game in order to boost morale, and apparently a couple of things I said got taken out of context sir. I'll try not to frighten you like that again Mr. President."

"What's going on?" Sam asked as she and O'Neill watched General Hammond converse on the red telephone.

"I'll give you three guesses who the General decided to be, and the first two don't count." O'Neill said. "Apparently, the NSA didn't recognize the plot of Superman."

"Well, I could see why they'd be worried." Sam said after a moment's thought. "Unlike most people, the General does have access to actual nuclear weapons."

"What'd I miss?" Daniel Jackson asked as he joined the small crowd that was gathered outside of Hammond's office.

"The President just asked the General to lay off the Lex Luthor act." O'Neill replied.

"So, that's why he's been wearing that god-awful wig..." Jackson said as Hammond set down the phone and sighed.


End file.
